...to tell you the number of things wrong with what I'm about to write about. First, a disclaimer. For those that read this blog that aren't die hard Big Red fans (shame on you), we are going to cover the Huskers from time to time. But I promise it will not be sports radio via the blog, rather it will be a series of forays into the culture of Husker football that so permeates our fair town. It will be humorous, perhaps sad and most certainly awesome.
That said, let's talk about Kansas State. One of the Husker "rivals" in the Big 12 North, the Wildcats are based in Man-Happenin', Kansas. Their mascot is Willie the Wildcat. Apparently, their new team ain't so good. They've been sluggish early, and I think I've discovered why.
In a sad, desperate attempt to artificially inflate fan support for their team, the K-State Sports Marketing geniuses recently put this together:
That's right, two new traditions. One is the "Power Towel," an idea so original that it's only been copied by 93% of collegiate, professional and semi-professional sports franchises the world over. We get it. You waive the towel, the visiting team wets itself. This tactic is best used by fans sporting stonewashed jeans, a Flock of Seagulls haircut and Snap Bracelets.
But that's nothing compared to the "Willie Chant." Oh, sweet Jesus. What in the name of Dave Coulier is this thing? Where to begin? There are so many things wrong with this. Don't get me wrong, I love Whitesnake. I just think it's time to let them rest in peace, and not try to resurrect their style as a pathetic college football chant. And how about Willie's tasty, face-melting, Guitar Hero-worthy licks? I'm surprised my computer screen didn't melt when I played this video. Is the 30something-still-clinging-to-Hair-Band-Rock target market that active? And why, oh god why, are there lasers shooting out from the guitar?
Lyrically, it's a masterpiece. I believe the words were written by a team of whales, and the sounds they emitted were so beautiful that K-State decided not to translate them into English (ala Dory from Finding Nemo).
I don't understand it. How. What. But. Then... Brain. Exploding. From. Ridiculous. Stupidity. Must. Stop.
And yes, right about now the Gods of Husker Karma are planning how Kansas State is going to beat Nebraska, just to punish me for this post.
cheers.
.charlie
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Lincoln, Nebraska. In the nude.
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9 comments:
The fact that K-Stat is in the same conference as Nebraska is now embarassing.
sweet lord, that is awful
As a k-state fan... let me just say... the uproar in Manhattan has been even louder than the laughter on the internet... this thing is AWFUL!
I can just imagine the reaction of the college age mascot when they explained the video concept...
"you want me to wha???? for real??? you're serious??? alright...."
Ditto to everything "anonymous" said!! I heard/saw this video on Friday and was disgusted. It is my understanding this was NOT done at the game verses San Jose State...thank God...
I can speak for all K-State students when I say "We are K-State...and we are furious about this embarrasment!"
GO CATS!
-Kelsey
You know, I think if the wildcat had actual cat arms and not human arms, this video could somehow work. Cat arms would push it further into the realm of absurdity. The human arms just make it look like the guy accidentally left half of his mascot costume at an IHOP off of I-29.
And a "power towel"? Really? Yeah, I dunno. Something about a group of guys talking about a "power towel" doesn't sit well with me.
-Lynn
Where, oh where did you FIND this? It's awesome in its patheticness. Welcome to the Jungle, indeed. As far as the mascot's willingness to do this...a scenario..."Yeah, nude modeling for Life Drawing 101 was more noble, but as least I got to wear a giant cat head to mask my identity."
Wow... um... wow. I just laughed so hard a little pee came out.
You know, I was in college when we tried a new school song for a few years. "Nebraska, Nebraska, we pledge you our true loyalty... Nebraska, Nebraska, a good life for you and for me." It amounted to an entire stadium in relative silence, with blank stares passed around until the song ended.
But this takes the cake.
Chalk one up for Nebraska here. After all, we take a physics professor and make science cool on our big screen, where K-State takes an electric guitar and makes it very not cool.
Oh sweet beard of Zeus! I'm ashamed to call my self a KSU fan. I used to debate who I would cheer for when Nebraska plays them every year, now it's no debate. Shame on you Ron Prince! - Megan
Here's something I bet no one else noticed: that cat is playing on a late 90s model Fender Squier. The Fender Squier is one of the cheapest electric guitars you can buy. It really is a piece of shit. For me, the believability issue is not that the cat with man arms is playing the guitar, it's that there is no way you could get that kind of sound out of a Fender Squier. Jeez.
Plus it wasn't plugged in.
PS Remember the Full House when Jesse was looking for a lead guitarist for his band so he held an audition, and Danny tried out and he was the best, but Jesse wouldn't admit it because Danny was so lame and lacked rockstar potential. I do.
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