I was watching TV last night when I saw an ad that caught my attention. Not in the good, "Hey that's funny," way or the "Wow, good to see Ed McMahon is still alive," way. Rather in the, "Oh, that's unfortunate," kind of way. It was a commercial for a photographer in Lincoln, advertising his senior picture services. One photo was particularly tragic.
When exactly did the world decide it would be a good idea to professionally chronicle every kid doing something they would inevitably regret? Senior pictures are a time-honored way to capture "Wow, I can't believe I thought that was cool 10 years ago," moments.
So being the diligent chronicler of all things weird and/or Nebraskan that I am, I was able to find the picture from the TV commercial. It is posted on the photographer's Web site both as a showcase of his talents and a reminder to incoming seniors everywhere.
If you know the kid in this picture, I'm sorry. I'm not making fun of him, I'm making fun of senior pictures in general. This just happens to be a current one. So without further adieu, I present you this:
Picture the year 2017. A former member of B2K is president (Omarion in '16?). We are enslaved by our Canadian overlords. And Wal-Mart sells kidneys in bulk. Somewhere, this young man will be saying, "Oh man, popped collars! Why? Why God why? What in the name of Mario Lopez was I thinking?" Mario Lopez? What does that have to do with anything? Keep reading...
A Disclaimer
Again, I'm not picking on this kid, I'm picking on senior pictures and how ridiculous they are. It's entrapment. There's no way you're going to do something you'll be proud of later in life. And I'm not trying picking on high school kids. I'll say that high school students in this state are wonderful, and I would know. I work at a camp in the summer with them and they are bright, articulate, intelligent and impressive. So there.
And a Challenge to You, The Reader
Before you brand me a totally soulless bastard for picking on high school kids, I'll give you my sad senior picture story. Today, I stand 6'2", about 170 lbs, and when I have facial hair I almost look my age (23). When I entered my senior year, I stood 5'3", 100 lbs and got carded for PG-13 movies. And as if looking 11 years old when applying for college wasn't completely humiliating enough, I chose the A.C. Slater pose for my senior pic. You know the drill: backwards chair, arms folded neatly on the to. A timeless classic.
And so, I issue this challenge:
To any of our fair readers. If you can come across my A.C. Slater-posed senior picture, and you can scan it/get it to me in digital form, I will post it on the blog, thus abandoning any remaining chance of ever dating again and opening myself up for a confidence-shattering barrage of humiliation from all of you. Your mission is clear.
Go forth.
Go forth.
cheers.
.charlie
3 comments:
at least in your senior picture you had a little more sense than to wear a vest, silk shirt and pearl necklace. ah, to be in 6th grade and awkward again.
http://unl.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=32376938&id=17203095
you're going to want to go ahead and copy/paste that link.
ps. I swear to god, charlie, if that makes it way into the celebrate nebraska, you won’t live to see another day.
Holy crap, Amy. I can't tell if that woman in the picture is 30 or 8. That's the best thing I've ever seen.
Holy shit. I saw the same ad a few days ago, and I laughed at all the pictures. It was ridiculous, just a big slide show of embarrassment. I also found my senior pictures (which I took with my boyfriend at the time...I guess we thought we were going to be together foreverrrrrr) and I swear they will never see the light of day. EVER.
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